This blue marble

– and yet it spins


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Spring arrived, in February

Brandebacks-spring-2Spring arrived too early. So early, that the first leaves faced mid-February night frosts and the finches and flycatchers had to desperately look for food: for those brave winter-bearing insects staggering out of their hiding places into the warm sunlight of a few noon-hours of the day.

Hopefully we will not have a “Finnish spring” here in Denmark, with another layer of frost and snow before summer really comes. Otherwise much newly awoken spring life will perish.
Brandebacks-spring(Brande, Denmark; February 2019)


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Celebrating bureaucratic roots

Silkeborg-9Today I am consciously enjoying the longer midwinter daylight in Denmark compared to dark Finland. And the fact that I am no longer an “illegal immigrant” but actually have a registered Danish address and social security number. After six months of drifting I have bureaucratic roots again. And as I am (unfortunately?) a human conditioned to like modern society, bureaucratic roots help generate the sense of individual roots and foothold.

It is a good lesson to learn that even if a sense of belonging to a place is all in my mind, having a contract with a country about my intention to stay helps. And I just heard from my employer that I will be advised to sign up for a course on introduction to Danish culture – in essence, a guide on how to become Danish. Or at least how to understand the Danes. I have no need to become Danish. But as I also have no need for a Danish language course (Scandinavian languages are inter-comprehensible), perhaps a course on how to understand the cultural quirks of the Danes beyond “hygge” will be useful.Silkeborg-11(Silkeborg, Denmark; February 2019)


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Denmark in deep winter

brandemose-4Denmark in deep winter means some ice and snow. But not much. And some light. But not as little as in Finland. On the first of February the light was blue and on its way out by the time I arrived. On that day I thought this would be my last visit and I took two photos, to remember. I sat in silence for a long time, pondering over how unpredictable and out of control life is, and how all we can do is try to hang on from the edge and insist that we have some sort of assertiveness over where we go. Because if we don’t try to assert control we do not assert ownership of our actions. A pond is a good place for pondering.

One month later, as I write this, I am still in Brande. There is sunshine in the air. The fish no longer need to survive on oxygen stored in the water under the ice, and I have regained the illusion that I do have control of most of what I do and choose. And I am thinking of the wise Pema Chödrön’s words: “You are the sky. Everything else – it’s just the weather.”

brandemose-5(Brande, Denmark; February and March, 2019)


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A deathly boring book

voleSpotted in the bathroom of the country cottage. Apparently August Strindberg can bore one to death. How the poor thing got into the bathroom and how we did not notice it, living or dead, until now is a mystery. I am so dreadfully sorry little vole, for not letting you back out in time.

(Loviisa, Finland; January 2019)


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Colors seen and unseen

spectrum-1The low, early January sun found its way in through the dining room window just so. It hit the crystal chandelier and exploded into hundreds of little rainbows, all over the walls and the ceiling and the fireplace. For a long while the dining room became a crystal palace.

White light does not contain every color as such. In a way it kind of does, but when one breaks down white light into pure spectral colors there will be red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and violet. Pink and brown for example are not spectral colors and are instead blends of two or more colors. But why is violet (essentially blue and red mixed) a spectral color and not pink or purple, with just a bit less blue and more red? And how many colors are we actually missing because our human eyes cannot distinguish them? Ultraviolet and infrared probably, but are there amazing iridescent turquoises and greens and shades of yellow and even entirely imaginary colors that only bees and butterflies can see? If the electromagnetic spectrum stretches from meter-long radio waves into micro waves into that tiny band we perceive as colors – and then out into X-ray waves, what would the world look like if we were to perceive for example micro waves and X-ray waves as colors?spectrum-2(Loviisa, Finland; January 2019)


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Interlude: a small heartbreak

rcAfter two and a half months it is still hard for me. These two adorable beings have found a new loving home. Hopefully for another 5 good years of elderly life. My heart broke, but I knew it was the same break I would eventually experience once they leave for good, in old age.

You see, Ramses never felt at home in the apartment in Denmark. He would not sleep, and would not let anyone, including the neighbors, sleep. He was happier in a cat hotel than he was at his new home with me. He spent the last three weeks on antidepressants, totally drugged and out of this world. It was heart-wrenching to see. His best friend Cassandra did not know what to do as her buddy was not completely mentally present. Moving was not possible as a short-term option. It would have been selfish to ask for these elderly kitties to keep up with the speed of frequent travel, moving every couple of years, varipus cat-sitters visiting, and weeks spent in cat hotels?

Since last October these two have peacefully and cozily cohabited in south Sweden with two furry guinea pig friends and three less furry human friends. Hugs and cuddles are not spared. And I am left wondering how life takes such unexpected kinks and turns.

(Brande, Denmark; January 2019)


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Leaving

lauttasaari-1Dear Lauttasaari island, you have been good to me. You have been my safe haven for years. A place to hide and to just stare at the (mostly windy) sea.

It is difficult to live in a landlocked place, away from the sea. I have done it twice and I will be doing it again. All three times have also been the three times I have lived abroad.

I have also lived in two relatively rainy, wet places: the UK and the Netherlands. Now I intend to try out another rainy (and this time windy, too) place: a little town in the middle of Denmark. For how long? For now.lauttasaari-2Dear Lauttasaari, I will miss your sea, sunshine, and the vast open space. The ships leaving for various Baltic port cities, and the sound of broken ice blocks floating on the water in spring.

But life plays out in seasons and no matter how well one plans, the beginning of the next season always comes with a twist. Growth does not take place when we feel comfortable and set in our routines. And so I intend to break my routines big time, hoping that growth will follow with equal measure.Larubynight(Helsinki, Finland; August 2018)